Monday, June 13, 2022

Being together again: Post COVID reflections on teaching the performing arts in college

In the performing arts, ensemble matters. A great classroom report makes a performing arts course feel fresh, engaging, meaningful. The class as a whole thrives on the communal energy. The teacher holds the space, offers the invitation for growth, protects the learning environment, and supports those in need to make the experience as equitable and inclusive as possible. Ensembles are never perfect, but they are effective when everyone contributes what they can.

Ensemble learning is much like kindergarten. Individuals learn how to be together in a messy art making process where everyone is trying to figure things out as they go. Ensemble members learn to respect each other, navigate personal disappointments, celebrate others' wins, and balance social and emotional learning through individual and group dynamics. A dance class (or any other performing arts class) isn’t just about the content or even the art; it is about the growth that happens by being a part of something larger than yourself. You depend on others, and they depend on you. Together you can do great things and might even have fun in the process.

Coming back to campus from COVID, I am finding students have forgotten the role of community in their personal learning and in their lives. Add in trying to coordinate a final performance, and you get added madness. Online, it was about individual successes, independent learning, and personal agency. Online the pedagogical mantra is “alternatives for all!” In person, performing arts learning resides in social, interpersonal, and community centered activities focused on cohesion as well as personal responsibility. 

I know well the common pattern in which students want to catch up and save their grades in a last-minute rally. This is the norm for many lecture classes. I regularly see students begging to make up work from weeks 12-15 that they missed (having either forgotten they were enrolled, or convinced those weeks weren’t essential, and/or frozen in shame that they fell behind at all). I frequently see students deciding that a C is going to be ok with them when they are capable of more. In a lecture course the consequences of poor student choices mostly fall back on the student as an individual. I mean, does group work exist online anymore? Has anyone successfully conducted group work online? Even in person, it requires an act of divine intervention for group work to come together. I digress. . .

The point is that students will always have a hard time navigating hard deadlines and course requirements, but ultimately in a lecture course, each student is free to earn their grade as they see fit. They are free to excel, and they are free to fail. This was and early lesson I had to learn when I first entered community college teaching. Witnessing individual students failing is hard enough to emotionally navigate as a teacher when the aim is to support everyone in just the right way that they all succeed.

I have learned to survive the grief of individual students earning failing grades. It isn't my preference, but I get it. It happens, I can sleep at night knowing I did my best to support them. But, coming out of COVIID we have a whole new issue to deal with as students have forgotten life requires them to act with social awareness. Students have forgotten how ensembles work! 

The reality is that the community relationships aspect in an online class is near zero. COVID confirmed this reality. Community is not altogether absent, but not often at the forefront of the learning experience especially in asynchronous interactions. I was surprised how many of my online students have anxiety surrounding posting to a class discussion board for fear of being wrong or otherwise embarrassing themselves. Clearly online forums don't feel that safe right now. This social anxiety is compounded in person; I am witnessing the lack of community connection now whether we are digital or not. 

The biggest challenge is when we as artists are working toward a celebratory final performance and things go sour, yet, the show must go on. A good show in which everything goes smoothly, everyone shows up, is happy with their performance, and feels supremely bolstered by the community is rare (has it ever really happened in a perfect way?). Even pre-COVID show, there are often hurt feelings, frustrations, fatigue, sensitivity, insecurity, and a ticking time bomb of inner yuck ready to explode onto everyone and everything when preparing for performances.

Then the show happens and somehow (usually) it all gets better. People are smiling, relieved, grateful, satisfied, looking to sign up again! haha! Performance was the carrot that brought people together, but performance isn't as special now. Students "perform" all the time on social media. And they do that on their own time, for themselves, in their own way. The digital spaces are compelling and appeal to the ease of not having to coordinate with other people in ensemble environments.

And, I am feeling the push and pull between the worlds. Are ensembles still relevant and valued at this point? How can students relearn to appreciate the value of ensemble learning and ensemble performance? Are we here for ourselves? or for the group? Or, are we here for ourselves through the group? Missing an online class doesn’t feel like a big deal. Missing an in-person class is a big difference. People have forgotten that their consistent presence in the room matters. The nature of the performing arts ensemble training depends on our ability to work together and to show up when it matters (which is all the time). But, showing up is hard, and it takes practice. 

I entered this profession during a time when form was well established and militantly enforced. In general, students knew how to be in a dance class. Those who were new to dance witnessed and learned from those who had experience. I would need to refresh and maintain the boundaries, but I never had to be the one to establish them as I have had to this past year. The hardest part for me to navigate recently is the students' excessive absences. When students are absent the form is broken; there is no opportunity for practice and learning grinds to a halt. Those who remain (who were able to drag themselves from bed that day) are taught then that being absent is ok. This nonchalant approach interrupts the group learning process and breaks trust within an ensemble.

Right now, I don’t trust that students will show up (where is the incentive when ensembles are hard to navigate), and I don’t trust that I am capable of navigating this wild west approach to come-and-go-as-you-please learning environments. I recently listened to a great Hidden Brain podcast about the emotional currency. The reality is that currency is a marker of transactional value, but it is also an indicator of trust and relationship. When we agree to exchange goods, money, time, attention, or services, we are establishing patterns for longer term trust and reliability. Showing up to dance class is the currency of ensemble learning. When you show up, trust is built. When you stick it out in hard times, you earn reliability points. Our social fabric depends on these “transactions” even if there is not money involved. And, we are relational beings so these exchanges matter.

So, where to go from here? How do we rebuild a culture of showing up for each other? How do we establish commitment when COVID conditions and digital culture is training it out of us at each turn?

This is the next step, I haven’t sorted out. I’m not sure if there is a good “solution.” I’m not sure if I am the one to create structure in this phase, when structure building isn’t in my nature. I’ve been more of a structure breaker. This is new world for me to navigate and I need to start to redefine how to function in this profession.