Being a better Over-Achiever

(Please note: I don't really consider myself an overachiever, but many of the people surrounding me tell me that I am, so, for the purposes of this post I am going with it. )

What I do consider myself is a "chronic over-scheduler/ double-booker."  I proved this again just yesterday when I had promised to help out two friends at the same time by guest teaching in two places at once.  I tell you it is nice to feel wanted, but it feels terrible to let people down.

One would think that proper calendar management would solve this problem, but, I am here to argue that something else is at the root of this: A complete misunderstanding of time. 

I just figured out that "flexible time" is NOT "free time."  Gasp!

In other words, I suffer from the misperception that having hours in the day that are "flexible" means that I have hours that are "free."  So, I tend to operate under the misunderstanding that I can say "yes" to anything that comes along during those time frames, when in fact those hours may be needed for other things (or are already spoken for).  

Now, I know that there are those of you out there who are thinking "Why doesn't she just look at her calendar?" "She must not be organized."  " This seems like such an easy fix." I envy you, because if I thought like you I wouldn't have this problem in the first place.  I have use a calendar, I tried to be organized, but still I let this happen.

I have experienced this over-scheduling, super busy, running-around-like-crazy, double-booking lifestyle over and over again.  And, I believe it is because I THINK I have more time than I do and therefore don't feel the immediate need to reserve my flexible time, to make it un-free.

I am very fortunate to have a stable job teaching dance full time. And, if I ONLY taught my classes then I would have a lot of truly "free" time.  But, I also wouldn't be fulfilled personally, and I would quickly become stale as an instructor who is not active in the art making process.  So, I commit, commit, commit. I get honestly excited by the possibilities and opportunities in research, choreography, dancing, guest lecturing, presenting at conferences, writing online courses. . . the list goes on and on.  But, it lands me in this wretched place of overcommitment time and time again.

After much thinking on the issue: Here are the goals I have developed in attempt to remedy this problem:

1.  Learn to reserve at least a 2 hr block of time for organization (email, grading, planning, follow up).

2.  Ask all commitment inquiries to be emailed to me (no exceptions!) so I can immediately check my computer calendar and see if in fact I am "free" AND whether it does not infringe on my 2 hour block of time for the day.  (This email idea is courtesy of my sister in law, also artist and teacher).

3.  Accept the reality that I simply cannot do it all. (I can achieve but not overachieve! I am only human.)

I will start there.  But, still all of this depends on my ability to mentally accept and differentiate between the nature of having a flexible schedule and a free schedule.  I have to see the open spaces on my calendar differently.  I have to protect them even when it means disappointing someone I admire or care for.  Maybe it sounds silly, but maybe there are some of you out there who feel the same way, always running around and often feeling like you are having to let people down because either, you didn't have time, didn't schedule properly or are just too stressed and tired to do a good job.

I am so ready to learn this lesson.

So, I have to get going, it is time to put this into practice.

Beth

Checking one more thing off the list. . . Check!

I realized today that even if I go my full day and complete everything on my calendar, it is not enough.  It is that damn "to-do list" that gets me every time.  I think I am doing well and that I have everything covered, when BAM! I am hit with a reminder of some deadline that has past, some work that should have been completed, a letter of recommendation that needed to be written, a festival application that should have been turned in, a staff parking pass that should have been acquired, or placard of my office hours that should have been posted on my office door.  (Yes, it is already week three and I have yet to update them from last semester! I know! Don't judge!)

So, I need to learn this lesson.  Check one more thing off the list.  Just one.  Before I go to bed.  I need to make a habit of completing one more thing than I am used to in a day.  Getting through my day is simply not enough to keep me sane in the long run. 

For instance I have crazy Mondays this semester.  I start teaching at 8:00am.  Today I taught a total of 6hrs of dance technique before running another 5 1/2 hour rehearsal for the Musical.  (I'm actually really impressed that I made it through). So, I left the house at 7:30am and got home at 10:45pm.  A long day by any standards.

And, perhaps enough for any individual.  But. . .

Thinking this way lands me regularly in a hole of being frustrated and overwhelmed.  I feel perpetually behind as a result because I am barely staying afloat. Luckily I tend to rally and get thing done on time, but I don't want to live this way.  Always, perched precariously on the edge of disaster (which we all know would result when you don't post your office hours is time). 

In all seriousness, I am going to experiment this week, with doing one more thing (small thing) so I can feel more on top of my game and less like a puppet grasping at strings I can't control.  Tonight I checked my email.  I didn't have time to finish that task earlier in the day, and it is something I dislike doing to the extent that I will easily let it go 2 or 3 days if I am not careful.  (Free Advice: Leaving your email for 3 days is highly unrecommended as a teacher); and I think it brings me more anxiety and uneasiness that checking the darn thing.  So today, I checked it.  It wasn't that bad (and I had the energy buzzing from rehearsal to do it). 

Tomorrow I don't know what to-do item will be checked off, but there are plenty of them.  And, I figure in 7 days I will have checked off 7 of them.  That's a pretty darn good for me.  I'll take it.