When Wonder Woman gets Shingles

Thanks for reading this seeing as I haven't been posting regularly. It has been tough finding the balance between work, art and parenting. (Well, duh!)

What brought me here today? Well, you know that moment when you feel like everything is going pretty well. Life is full and busy and bustling and yet, things are generally getting done, and you are generally managing. You have a moment in which you feel like superwoman before. . . you get shingles.

Hence, your body steps in to say, "Not so fast buster! I know you like burning the candle at both ends, but, I'm here to chime in and say, it doesn't work that way." As someone still in her thirties, I'm not supposed to get shingles. All the websites say it is usually seen in people over 50.  I still have over a decade to go! And, yet, these little red lesions on my waistline are undoubtedly shingles.  I know, because I have had them before.  Sigh.

I'm just so sensitive.  I guess we all are in some way or another. Whether it hits us sooner or later, whether we hide it or blog about it, we are all just doing our best to get along and figure out life as best we can in the midst of the chaos and without a compass or map in hand.

My prescription should really be: chill the heck out. Stop working, and, instead, spend an afternoon watching movies and sleeping.  Yet, I just finished a two hour stint of work and am whiling away the hour by writing this blog. Good choices can be hard to make sometimes.  But, we keep at it. We keep trying to no try so hard. We keep our focus on not being too focused, and we worry about not worrying so much. 

Now to bed. And, I recommend you try to find your way there too before your system rebels.

Beth

Musing on being a dancing mama poetess

It’s been an exceptionally long time since I have posted.  I blame it on my being pregnant. That's right, in this time I have had a baby! And that. . .

Changes. . .

Everything.

While pregnant, it was tough to contemplate much else, and I was too superstitious to blog about my being pregnant for fear it might not work out.  Plus, it took all my energy to be pregnant and survive teaching a full load.  But, I made it through and even fulfilled my goal of performing while pregnant. Once at 4 ½ months and again at 6 months.  It was a hoot.

So, what did I learn during this past year, now that I have a 5 week old who is just learning to nap long enough for me to write this post?  I have learned that dance making (art making) can happen under all conditions and the artist never goes to sleep even when the body is transforming on a daily basis.  I danced through the pregnancy which joy and allowed myself to dance differently while experience the changes happening to my physically and emotionally.

In many ways being a pregnant dance maker was a piece of cake.  Now that the bun is out of the oven, I have many more challenges as my schedule revolves around caring for this new life I have created.  So when and how do I makes dances now?  Patiently, sporadically, theoretically while dosing off into a nap. I recently wrote a friend about dance making:

Dance making is a fascinating way of life. And, it is interesting who perseveres and how they persevere in the dance making process.  It seems that those of us who embed our lives and our learning in our art making seem to have a more sustainable time of it. . . Our creative energies have so many outlets and they all feed each other in the end as they all feed us. When we work honestly it flows out of us like a source energy.  That energy and our lives that swirl around it are the research. . . The journey continues in all conditions and we experience the ebb and flow as we ride the wave.   Mine includes the creative practice of raising a newborn.

I was pleased to get back into the studio last week, a trial run for my body and for babysitting! It went as well as I could expect, and tomorrow I head back into the studio again. I’m not sure where the next stage will take me as I am living moment to moment, hour to hour, nap to nap.  But, I do so with hope and joy.  When things get tough, I surrender myself to the challenge, weep as needed and move on.  We can’t plan for perfection, and I believe it is a mistake to expect it.  Dancing and art making will happen.  It is meant to happen as it happens.  And, therefore, I will stay true to my belief and practice of making dance under all conditions.