Ich kann nicht mehr. Ich brech' zusammen

Ich kann nicht mehr. Ich brech' zusammen

There is this fantastic phrase in German.  (My German friends who read this will promptly tell me what I have misspelled; I am sure. But, having learned this phrase over a decade ago and still remembering it as well as I do, I give myself props.)

It means: "I can do no more. I break together." 


Well, that is the literal translation. The meaning translates into. "I am done. I can't do anymore."

But it just doesn't sound as good in English.


I have been ill with a cold and today I stayed home to rest. While I committed myself to resting physically, today quickly became a guilt ridden day of following up on old emails that have long since been pushed into the "next" pages of my Yahoo mail, catching up with grading and following up with work emails that needed to be addressed in a timely manner regardless of whether or not snot is running out my nose.


So, I spent the day "resting" in front of my computer screen, in a hard backed chair with a wicker seat that has left permanent imprints on the backs of my thighs.  I don't own a computer chair.  Why would I when I can enjoy the ripples of red indentations for hours after a computer session? Sexy.


I got a lot done today.  That is the good news.  The bad news is that I have nearly given myself an anxiety attack in the meantime.  Sometimes being less reminded of your commitments and obligations really is better for the mental health.  But, alas, then on your day of rest you can't rest at all.  Hence today. 


I tested my conviction for getting things done on the computer by NOT opening up Twitter, Facebook or this blog until the end.  That wasn't the hard part for me.  The hardest part (beside the wicker seat and wooden chair back) was knowing that some people sit at their computers all day everyday.  I would probably die. Or at least gain 400 pounds. As it was I ate, 2 slices of PB toast, coffee, a pot of Rostaroma tea with soy milk, two HUGE steamed artichokes (with mayo of course),  and four healthy sized pancakes with maple syrup for dinner. All while sitting at the good ol' computer.   Oh, and nearly the whole dish of raw almonds sitting to my left.

Side Note: Artichokes are not the best food to eat at the computer because you can't type and eat them very well at the same time, and if you alternate the keyboard gets all messy.


With all that said and done, Ich kann nicht mehr.  I think I might actually break together. Right onto my bed. Teaches me to try to stay home and rest.  Good riddance.