First World Problems: Stealing

Stealing sucks.  

Over the weekend, while I was in Fresno with my dance company, my car window was smashed and the thief took my backpack (containing my month old MacBook Pro, iPad, iPod nano and video camera) and my bag full of props (big bells, tap shoes, costume bits etc.) for our show.  

It sucked.  But, I found myself responding my repeating this mantra over and over:

 "It is just stuff. I am healthy and safe, my loved one's are healthy and safe and in general things are ok. This is just a first world problem not the end of the world"

I was on my way to teach a master dance class, so I actually went with a couple dancers while the others did costume and prop recognizance.  I was shaken, but I didn't cry.  I got to the studio explained why I was late and began the class. 

"Lie down on the floor and notice your breath. Arrive fully in this moment. . . "  

Admittedly I was saying it for myself as much as I was for them. But I did realize that in that moment everything was fine. I was safe and healthy doing something I love.  Yes, I was going to have to deal with the sh*tty aspect of filing a police report and getting a new computer and spending $3,000 more dollars to replace things I has just purchased in January.  But, in that teaching moment, everything was just as it needed to be.  The students were lying on the wooden floor, breathing, noticing, observing and experiencing.  

The class went well better than I expected under the circumstances, and when I got back to the house at which we were staying, I learned my friend's husband had already taken my car to get the window fixed and the dancers had managed to find or purchase nearly all the needed props.  

The show that day went brilliantly. We rallied and the ensemble was the strongest it has ever been. It was a fantastic show and we managed to get it on tape so hopefully I will have something to post on YouTube soon!   

Of course, I was emotionally spent from the whole event and feeling awfully guilty and embarrassed for having left the computer and prop bags in the car at all.   But, I felt so honored that those around me came to my aid with such love and compassion  My dancers and my dear friend Cristal whose house we were staying at managed to take care of virtually everything.

I tried to leave money on the counter to pay Cristal and her husband back for all they bought and paid for, but upon leaving the city found the same wad of cash nestled in the center console of my car. Similarly, I was given an envelop containing another handful of $20's from the students and their families.  I was overwhelmed with their generosity.

I realize that I am loved.  

I have spent the last three days processing the whole event. Buying a new computer (which I am typing on right now), a new iPad and trying to reclaim data from my external hard drive. And, I keep repeating "This is just a first world problem. . . " 

 I feel like I am almost put back together.  Emotionally and logistically.  But I could not have done it alone.

With deep gratitude and appreciation to all who cam to my aid,

Beth

PS  The computer is now listed as "nando's macBook" in Selma on find my iPhone.  And, I tell you if my mom ever gets to Selma and find's "nando" that guy better watch out because my mom is raving mad and I wouldn't put it past her to do some serious damage. 

This picture is from "Belle of the Bowl". The crazy big ass bell was stolen in the prop bag and will be sorely missed.  I can't imagine what the thieves thought when they opened our bag and found that!  

Ich kann nicht mehr. Ich brech' zusammen

Ich kann nicht mehr. Ich brech' zusammen

There is this fantastic phrase in German.  (My German friends who read this will promptly tell me what I have misspelled; I am sure. But, having learned this phrase over a decade ago and still remembering it as well as I do, I give myself props.)

It means: "I can do no more. I break together." 


Well, that is the literal translation. The meaning translates into. "I am done. I can't do anymore."

But it just doesn't sound as good in English.


I have been ill with a cold and today I stayed home to rest. While I committed myself to resting physically, today quickly became a guilt ridden day of following up on old emails that have long since been pushed into the "next" pages of my Yahoo mail, catching up with grading and following up with work emails that needed to be addressed in a timely manner regardless of whether or not snot is running out my nose.


So, I spent the day "resting" in front of my computer screen, in a hard backed chair with a wicker seat that has left permanent imprints on the backs of my thighs.  I don't own a computer chair.  Why would I when I can enjoy the ripples of red indentations for hours after a computer session? Sexy.


I got a lot done today.  That is the good news.  The bad news is that I have nearly given myself an anxiety attack in the meantime.  Sometimes being less reminded of your commitments and obligations really is better for the mental health.  But, alas, then on your day of rest you can't rest at all.  Hence today. 


I tested my conviction for getting things done on the computer by NOT opening up Twitter, Facebook or this blog until the end.  That wasn't the hard part for me.  The hardest part (beside the wicker seat and wooden chair back) was knowing that some people sit at their computers all day everyday.  I would probably die. Or at least gain 400 pounds. As it was I ate, 2 slices of PB toast, coffee, a pot of Rostaroma tea with soy milk, two HUGE steamed artichokes (with mayo of course),  and four healthy sized pancakes with maple syrup for dinner. All while sitting at the good ol' computer.   Oh, and nearly the whole dish of raw almonds sitting to my left.

Side Note: Artichokes are not the best food to eat at the computer because you can't type and eat them very well at the same time, and if you alternate the keyboard gets all messy.


With all that said and done, Ich kann nicht mehr.  I think I might actually break together. Right onto my bed. Teaches me to try to stay home and rest.  Good riddance.