Prioritizing Life

If you are like me, you find yourself saying that there is too much to do in too little time.  You get caught feeling overwhelmed and at times defeated by the amount of tasks on your to do list and scheduled appointments on your calendar.

It's a problem. 

I certainly have been struggling recently. And, it is nothing new; it is the same old refrain. The same old trap of. . . but then I got to thinking. . . trap of what? What is the problem?

I'm still thinking through this, but so far I have come up with a few ideas on what the real problem is. Because there will always be things to do. There will always be 24 hours in the day. There will always be urgent tasks and tight timelines, surprises that derail you and moments of accomplishment that make you think such a busy life is a good idea. . . or, at the very least, manageable.  And, BOOM I find myself getting caught in the same cycle.

So, what is the real problem? 

I have come to understand that prioritizing is key. All you have to do is figure out what is most important and do that! Haha! Easier said than done. There is no single recipe for a great life. Each individual must decide what is the most important. And, not just once, but repeatedly. Year after year, day after day, moment to moment.

My trap is the trap of mistaken thinking that I can sort it all out once and then be done. But, life isn't about figuring out one answer. It is the process of negotiating all of life's challenges, embracing the challenge (and even the suffering) as it arises. It is a constant exploration of valuing and re-valuing our ideas, our beliefs, our commitments, our habits, our everything!

So, rather than prioritizing something in your life. Perhaps the freedom is found in prioritizing the process of re-prioritizing. Perhaps the most noble thing we can do is to take time to "figure things out." Prayer, meditation, long walks, a movement class, they are all examples of opportunities to step out of the stream and listen deeply into our experience. Prioritizing life is prioritizing the experience of sorting through things intellectually, emotionally, physically, spiritually. This takes time.

The most important thing we can do, and the thing we must put before all else is the time and space to reassess, reflect, ruminate, seek guidance, listen for clarity. 

Prioritizing this process however can be difficult. The best long term is to routinize this process with regular, weekly experiences, practices or rituals. This allows space for us to continually and consistently revisit our priorities and values. But, in times of crisis, we give up our recuperative practices as luxuries. How do we communicate to ourselves (and to others) that we are prioritizing life by selecting recuperative activities?

Well. . . I am still working through that one. . . but for now I will say:

"I am prioritizing life."

Pacing Your Day: Pacing Your Life

I have often been surprised by my need for rest.  Most people who know me know that I nap most everyday, and, only with exceptions (and often an extra bit of caffeine and adrenaline), do I get through my day without a rest period-- if not a whole 90 minute sleep cycle.

It seems not everyone "needs" this rest in the same way.  At least, many people I know express that a nap would be nice, but never actually take a nap.  This is interesting because I nap in response to an intense need to reset all of my systems.  When I am fatigued I feel absolutely crummy and my productivity is hopeless.  If I have to, I can generate enough stress induced adrenaline to get through a day of go go go, but that comes at a cost to my health and energy level the next day.

I have had a tough month with sickness. First a stomach bug then an upper respiratory infection.  Basically, I was sick for about 4 weeks straight.  And, I felt like I couldn't get better.  I would try to take an extra rest here and there. Extra hour of a nap. Getting to bed early. Sleeping in.  But, I was still ill and my productivity was shot.  I felt useless.  

Enough was enough, so I spent two days in bed.  Not because I had a fever of 102, but because I couldn't kick the fatigue bit my bit.  I needed a huge rest or, rather, a huge reset. 

So, despite my intellectual desire to get work done, I could do none of it.

During this time, I felt like I would never feel better again. I felt like I had never been productive or never had enough energy to get through teaching a dance class.  I was consumed by the present experience of being ill and completely spent.  

And yet, after those two days of pure rest (relief from a standing expectation to produce), I started to feel better. First 70%, then 85% and now I feel at about 95% which is such a relief!   The little nagging cough is nothing compared to the overall incapacity I had experienced.  And, these past two days I have been hugely productive.  Catching up on a pile of paperwork that had been looming on my to do list for over a month!  It felt to so good to sent off that email, follow up on that phone call, clean up that mess, file those papers.  Oh, the joys of feeling the power of productivity!

But, in reflecting on this past week, having felt so ill just 7 days earlier and only having felt marginally better 3 days ago, I am taking this moment to notice and observe that there is an ebb and flow to the way I do things. And, that is ok.  Not everyday will feel as productive as the past two have, so I must remember during those dreary sick days that I will recover, that I will heal and return to the high point -- and that high point will eventually turn downward again. 

I will always be changing, and I want to remember the nature of the natural rising and falling at each stage in the ebb and flow.  It is impossible to be hyper productive 24/7 for 365 days a year.  I know this intellectually, yet I was still holding myself to a ridiculous standard of high output each and everyday. 

Perhaps as I become more honest and self accepting of my rhythms (as different as they seem from the people around me) the amount of energy I will increase. But, in the meantime, I am learning that I get to rest.  That I get to change my pace as life comes at me.  

Have you rested lately?