Saturday, June 8, 2013

94 Days to Live!

Less than 100!  (HOLY *%$#!)

Yes, my year to live has taken me through fall, to winter, to spring and now summer. I only have a little over 3 months left.  What is to be done about?

Hell, if I know.

The reality of having a year to live has come in and out of my awareness over the past 270 days.  Some days I feel acutely aware of having limited time here on earth, other days, I rush through without a second glance, not even pausing to notice another 24 hours gone off the clock. 

Admittedly, I have completely forgotten to rip of the days of my calendar for the past 25 days.  And, Kapow!  I crossed the 100 days mark, and hadn't even noticed.  What was I doing during this time? I was working.

Working in a wonderful and very rewarding and satisfying way, but I was working so hard and so focused on my project (updating my Online Dance Appreciation course) that I barely checked email, ignored all social media and even this blog which actually had reader comments! (Thank you, by the way! I really do love the feedback and support).

So, 5 days passed. Silently and under the radar. Yes, I wrote a ton of HTML code and managed to create a whole new learning tool for my class.  But, I had virtually severed by awareness to time.  Computers are strange things, you really can lose your life to them.  Dangerous.  And wonderful. And dangerously wonderful.  

94 days.

Imagine, what can a person do in 94 days?  What do I want to do in 94 days? What is the most important thing I can do? For myself? For my family? For the world?

As I sit here asking myself this question, my mind runs blank.  It could be fear. It could be fatigue (from looking a computer non stop for 5 days). . . It could be. . . ok fine. . . Let's face it. . .  it's fear.

Fear of what? Fear that I can't do enough in 94 days. Fear that I don't want to do anything? Fear that my body still hurts? Fear that I won't have been good enough.  Being a human is darn tough.  

I don't know the answers.

But, let's start with something before I give up on this post.

Let's identify what I do know:
1.  People matter.  (Family, Friends, Strangers.)
2.  Love matters.  (Sending it into the world to cause ripples of kindness)
3.  Art matters.  (It's how we make sense of the world and our place in it)
4.  Nature matters.  (This world is precious, it must be loved too)
5.  Forgiveness matters.  (and, it matters toward yourself the most)

What would you do with 100 days to live?  Think of it basically as the rest of summer.

You got summer babe, whatcha gonna do with it?!?

Beth

Oh, and if you teach dance, you should consider teaching our new and improved Online Dance Appreciation Course, because the 5 days I gave up in my year to live I gave up because DANCE MATTERS!  And, dance literacy is what I have to give to the world. 



1 comment: