But, merely reading the books doesn't help.
The only way to make change is to practice.
So, I devised a system to help me keep track of my progress. But this system is a little different, because it sits in front of me everyday on my coffee table as a reminder. A physical 3-dimensional reminder that I am on a path to change. It looks like this. . .
Yes, bowls filled with stones!
Here is the premise: I started with 44 stones in my Growth Bowl. This visually represents the practice I need to accomplish to make the changes I want to make. When I practice good behaviors I transfer a stone from the Growth Bowl to the Success Bowl*.
In my case, I have chosen 3 ways to earn a stone.
1. I can eat at home the whole day to save money and make healthier choices.
2. I can go to the gym for cardio.
3. I can take a walk around the High Road (the 1 1/2 mile loop around the Brandeis Bardin Campus where I live).
But! The stones can go both ways! If I exhibit less healthy behaviors, I have to return a stone to the Growth Bowl (reminding me I have more practice to do). However, the key is not to punish myself if I make a poor choice, but to recognize that my choices, both healthy and unhealthy, have a cumulative effect, and that I am looking for the overall success.
I "lose" a stone a few ways:
1. I eat out more than 1x a day. (3 meals out = 2 stones!)
2. I eat a gluttonous amount. (usually because I eat while I'm tired or stressed out)
3. I eat more than one sweet a day.
For me this practice is all about moderation and the visual representation that I am making more healthy choices than unhealthy ones. The result of course gives me confidence that I can make changes and the changes make me feel good.
The best lesson is the act of taking a moment to pause and think before I make a decision. Do I really want to spend money eating out? Do I really want that second brownie? Will taking a walk before bed reduce my stress level? Of course, I know the answer, but this holds me accountable to my value set.
Earning stones is my way of practicing awareness in my life and learning to be mindful of how I want to exist in the world. My stones have to do with living a healthy lifestyle in the areas where I think I need growth, but this practices could be done with any behavior. My husband has his own set of stones (in white bowls) and doing it together is fun. Some days I earn more stones than he does and other days he earns more than I do. But, it encourages us both to stay awake and alert of our actions as we go through our days.
We also will gift each other a stone for exceptional behavior that is not on the list. For instance, if he helps a friend with yard work or I have a particularly productive dance rehearsal. This allows us to be flexible in our growth and see all aspects of our lives through the mindful lens.
Today I have earned 3 stones.
1. 20 min Yoga in the morning
2. Afternoon walk around the High Road
3. Eating only fresh foods at home!
*Note: I think it is key that the terminology of the bowls be positive on both sides. Growth gives me hope that I can grow to change. If I labeled it "Bad" I would likely abandon ship-- Just writing about it gives me a heavy heart. Think positive for lasting change!
Side note: Why 44 stones? Because we only had 88 on hand so we divided them equally.
